Divorcing a Narcissist and Thinking Strategically

Divorcing a narcissist will often be physically and emotionally draining. Expect that a narcissist will first try to charm you to negotiate a beneficial deal for them, not you. If a charm offensive does not work on you, then a narcissist will go to extreme lengths to obstruct the divorce process, file non-stop motions, and delay the process in hopes of getting under your skin to test your resolve.

The most important thing you can do when divorcing a narcissist is to make a plan; “Think Strategically” To think strategically means to think long-term. It means to map out a plan that will move you towards your overall strategic goals for your life. What actions can you take to move forward emotionally, mentally, and financially?

Create your “Team!”  You are your team leader and will define what your life will look like going forward. Divorce is a painful process, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel: your new life and the opportunities you are creating. Some benefits of establishing a team means that you will have trusted friends and family that can support you through the divorce process. What are some practical first steps?

Step One – Make copies or take photos of all assets and vital documents available to you. Some examples of documents that you will want in your possession are:

• All bank account statements that belong to you as a couple or as individuals
• Mortgage statements, lines of credit, and all credit card debt
• Tax returns, both jointly and individually filed for the past 3 years
• Recent pay stubs belonging to you and your spouse
• All investment and retirement account numbers and any monthly or quarterly statements.

Step Two – Hire an attorney who understands how to best negotiate with a narcissist seeking to inflict maximum emotional damage on you to gain the outcome they want. Be mentally and emotionally prepared that your spouse will not be reasonable with you. The best way forward is with an attorney who understands how to negotiate with a narcissist in a way that does not create extra drama but works towards your goals. Ask a potential attorney how they have handled narcissists in the past when the narcissist tries to be dishonest or delay the proceedings.

Step Three – Protect your mental and physical health. When divorcing a narcissist, a therapist or small therapy group in your church can help on those days when you may feel overwhelmed or discouraged. A therapist with experience dealing with narcissists can provide valuable tactics and insights to ease your mind.

The Right Divorce Attorney at Montgomery Little & Soran will help you “Think Strategically”

A person with strong narcissistic tendencies or personality disorder will do everything they can to make the divorce process as difficult as possible. The experienced and dedicated family law attorneys at Montgomery Little & Soran, P.C. are here to support you and help you create your new life going forward. We understand narcissism, and we know how to win.

Call 303-773-8100 to set up your case assessment at no charge and begin Thinking Strategically!